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I've shopped for goodies and drinks and want it to go well. In the past your mother would act the hostess for our poker game when it was here, and I want you to do that tonight. You'll need to put on some makeup. The blouse you have on is good but undo a couple of buttons, and you need a freshly pressed skirt that's five or six inches shorter than the one you have on." While I was trying to process all of that, dad went on, "You probably need some instruction on how to mix drinks, so go change and then I'll give you a couple of lessons. I'm sure you can handle everything else. You just have to be natural and make sure everyone has munchies and drinks if he wants and just do a general hostess job, which means smiling at everything, laughing at their stupid jokes – even if they're a little raunchy – and being very civil and friendly at all times. Like all gross men they'll get a little pushy, just don't let it bother you and let me be responsible for keeping them in line." Still trying. Jessica-you know Mrs. Wilson's daughter-has been wanting for you to take her out for a long time now. She thinks you're really cute." I know mother. You keep reminding me of that, but she just doesn't do it for me." What's that supposed to mean? She's very pretty and smart and comes from a good family. I don't see..." That's right mom. You don't see--at least not with a man's eyes. Jessica is pretty and smart as you say, but she doesn't have the equipment I look for in a woman." And what kind of equipment is that?" I could see the determined look on her face. When she gets like this, there's no stopping her. I really put my foot in my mouth now."Forget it, mom. Let's change the subject." Oh no you don't mister. If I'm going to help you to help me, I want to know what my son desires in a woman." I threw my arms up in frustration and let it all out."Okay mom, you want to know? I'll tell you then. I need a woman with a round juicy ass! Jessica is as flat as a board. I can't do a thing.
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